I put lipstick on to masturbate. It wouldn’t be abnormal for me to have anal beads in my ass while doing housework. A gangbang is number one on my Christmas list, we’ll see if Santa will oblige. This is me, and while I’m Penny Gossamer, I’m certainly not PG. I’m starting this column because I want to reach people in a way that may shock them–but ultimately set them free. We are all a little bit kinky (some more than others), and that’s one of the fabulous things about this world! Belle of the Balls may contain stories, experiences, responses to questions or just plain old oral pornography. YAY! But I’m here to get you off–to a world of new openings. Tee-hee.
So, I may be a talented cock slut at this point, but it wasn’t always the case. My life didn’t start out incredibly well-rounded, even though I was sexual. In fact, intercourse didn’t start until around age 24. I’m a huge advocate for personal timing. Some people are ready at 16, others need a bit more time. It’s nobody’s choice but yours when you choose to have sex or be intimate with others. Take your time. Think of it as edging, if you will.
In my opinion, I’ve lost my virginity three times. Once by a creepy older guy in a motel room at 13 years old and thank god he couldn’t put it in. Second time was in my grandmother’s basement when I was old enough to buy my first sex toy. Needless to say, I pretty much locked myself down there for three glorious days. I tear up with joy just thinking about it! Third time, on New Year’s in a bathroom while incredibly intoxicated, and upon reflection, I think it was more than one person. Actually, it could have been four times. The last time–relevant to my consciousness–was in a van with a Croatian. Key (low) point being that he lived in the van and his dog was watching. Not everybody gets a fairytale fuck, eh? That was a fun story to relay to my therapist with her mouth gaping wide as I cringed in embarrassment. We all have these stories and they are as unique as we are. Fourth times a charm, right?
After that, it was all uphill. I had started going to sex clubs even before the New Year’s undoing (the fantastic irony is not lost on me). I learned through practice what made me happy and what totally, even in slightest, did not. There was a year there when I met guys on Craigslist to fuck. Porn booths, apartments with cocaine and even a filthy Shiloh Inn. To be fair, the Shiloh Inn guy bought me waffles in the morning… Sweet guy. However, I’ve learned to be a little more discerning now. I lovingly refer to it as “my Craigslist year.” Youth and stupidity can be such besties at times.
Excitement fills me when I think about future writings and ways to connect with you. Hopefully that won’t be the only thing to fill me in the coming months! Catch ya soon.
Remember to make sweet, slutty music with your body!